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How to Write Your Ceremony Script

It is very common nowadays to attend a wedding where the bride and groom ask a close family member or friend to officiate their ceremony for them. If you are considering doing the same for your own nuptials, surely you already understand the benefits greatly outweigh the drawbacks. For one, you have a personal connection with the person that is officiating, adding a personal touch to your day with someone who can speak to your relationship from a unique perspective. Additionally, the cost savings and flexibility that this option offers to your planning process speaks for itself. However, one might wonder what your officiant will say during your ceremony, especially if they are getting ordained and doing this just for you! Don't worry, I've got you!

The last thing you want is your family member or friend overwhelmed with the weight and responsibility of drafting and curating the perfect script for your wedding ceremony. Additionally, you don't want to attend your wedding rehearsal, coming to the realization that the speech that your officiant plans to use is completely embarrassing and not at all what you would consider for your ceremony (no matter how casual you wanted to keep things).

I can't even tell you how frustrating it feels (for myself and the couple) to attend rehearsals the night before the wedding, to only be shocked at how out of pocket the ceremony script is. I am then typically pulled aside and asked the infamous question, "How do we fix this in less than 24 hours?" The chaotic energy that takes over that night as I am ferociously re-writing their ceremony script to fit their vibe, share their story, and curate something they would be okay having recorded is truly a miracle. But maybe, we don't continue this cycle?

As much as I love ALL of my couples, I don't think I am able to truly inflict the personalization you may be looking for in a ceremony script- no matter how close we get over the 2-6 months that we work with one another. HOWEVER, I do have a solution for you.

I have created a template for you to follow to curate the most beautiful ceremony script offering you all of the personalization and freedom you need to create something that is really YOU.

[Processional Music]

Opening Remarks:

Officiant: Friends and loved ones, we gather here today to celebrate the love between [Partner 1] and [Partner 2]. Today, they embark on a journey together, pledging their commitment and devotion to one another in marriage.


Officiant: Welcome, everyone, to this beautiful celebration of love and unity. We are gathered here in the presence of family and friends to witness and celebrate the union of two souls. Today, we rejoice in the love that [Partner 1] and [Partner 2] have found in each other and support them as they begin this new chapter in their lives together.

[ you are welcome to put a part here about your relationship, how the two of you met, who you were before you met, and even a funny or sentimental story regarding your relationship ]

Reading or Poem:

[Selected reading or poem by a friend or family member, this is completely optional but is definitely a fun thing to delegate to a family member that is older, religious, or even wanting to help or be a part of your day in some way]

Declaration of Intent:

Officiant: [Partner 1] and [Partner 2], as you stand before each other, I ask you now to declare your intent to enter into marriage. [Partner 1], do you take [Partner 2] to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?

[Partner 1]: I do.

Officiant: [Partner 2], do you take [Partner 1] to be your lawfully wedded partner, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do you part?

[Partner 2]: I do.


Officiant: The couple has chosen to share vows with one another, and we will begin with [partner 1] first.

[Personalized vows // can be shorter if you are reading them in a first look or first touch]

Exchange of Rings:

Officiant: The wedding ring is a symbol of eternity, with no beginning and no end. It is a visible sign of the love and commitment you have for each other. [Partner 1], please place the ring on [Partner 2]'s finger and repeat after me: "With this ring, I thee wed."

[Partner 1 places the ring on Partner 2's finger and repeats the phrase.]

Officiant: [Partner 2], please place the ring on [Partner 1]'s finger and repeat after me: "With this ring, I thee wed."

[Partner 2 places the ring on Partner 1's finger and repeats the phrase.]

Unity Ceremony (Optional):

[Include any unity ceremony you prefer, such as a sand ceremony, candle lighting, or tree planting, my Husband and I actually did a peanut butter and jelly unity ritual]

Closing Remarks:

Officiant: As [Partner 1] and [Partner 2] have exchanged vows and rings, and have made their commitment known to each other and to all of us gathered here, it is my honor to pronounce them as married partners. You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.

[First Kiss]


Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you for the first time as a married couple, [Partner 1] and [Partner 2]!

Recessional Music

I do want to add that you can edit your script to be exactly what you desire. It is helpful to add in a variety of things that personalize and add to the readings, vows, unity rituals you opt to do. I will even attach my own script for you to look over to see how we wrote of our love, history, and more. You can view that HERE (and yes, my husband's name is also Alex). I will also attach another HERE to give you an additional example, showing there is no right way to write a script!

A few things you can do when writing your ceremony script to make things more fun and less intense that I love to suggest to all of my couples are:

  1. Collaborate with one another! Friends, family, and your officiant will be able to brainstorm tons of ideas with you! Schedule a relaxed get together with everyone to bounce ideas off of one another and share what you envision for your ceremony.

  2. Incorporate your personalities: Incorporating elements that reflect your personalities, interests, sense of humor- whatever it is, let your traits shine through!

  3. Get inspired: Do a little research, look into poems, watch movies, look at other wedding videos that capture ceremonies. Gather ideas that you love and flex them into inspo for your script!

  4. Create substitutions or edits: There are so many different things you can do in a script; a social media minute to allow guests to snap photos of you tying the knot, writing love letters instead of sharing vows, skipping vows altogether, doing a more unique unity ritual, and more! It's your wedding, make the decisions you want to!

  5. Include your loved ones: Involve your friends and family in the script writing process. This is obviously a big thing for your wedding day, and it can be a lot of pressure. your loved ones can offer advice, share memories of the two of you, and even participate in readings or rituals!

  6. Add in surprise elements: I once coordinated a wedding where the couple chose to do 6 unity rituals during their ceremony and timed it! You can opt to do something else like a choreographed dance, a heartfelt tribute to someone you love, etc.

  7. Make it a date night! I will find any and every excuse. to make wedding planning a date night excuse! Order take out, get your comfy pajamas on, and sit with one another visualizing your ideal ceremony!

Lastly, please do not forget to enjoy this stage of the process. If you need to take a break- do it! If you prefer your officiant write the script- tell them! But remember to have fun, and celebrate this as a milestone! You only get to do this with your partner once!


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